


Change In Weather

by JayBirdxBlueBird



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:12:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayBirdxBlueBird/pseuds/JayBirdxBlueBird
Summary: Jason's return from the grave startles Dick. Slowly Jason's charm changes Dick's view on life. Torn between past and future, Dick wonders if he wants to follow in the foot steps of the big bad bat or let Jason teach him how to be reborn all while falling in love for Jason.





	1. Chapter 1

'Care free, collected and calm. Jason, Peter and Todd.'

Cheesy I thought to myself. I fought back my emotions as the rain hit my skin like thick needles. I missed the funeral, guilt and anger kept me away for too long. I was too caught up in my work to hear his cries. Oh, Jay I'm so sorry but sorry doesn't bring you back. His headstone was cold like my skin when I thought about him in pain. My heart feels like it stops every time I think about his smile in my head. "Oh, Dickie Boy." His confident voice struck me harder than any punch to the gut. I couldn't pull my lifeless gaze from the dark colored stone. The letters of his name were craved perfectly out and even the expensive goodbye in front of me could make it seem real to me. I clenched my fists, there was nothing else I could do. Memories drowned out the sound of rain as I disappeared into thoughts of years ago. "It's not nice to stare." A voice behind me spoke softly but their accent didn't sway. I didn't hear them as I was in my own head. The sound of wet footsteps pulled me from my trance. I kept still in case it was an enemy of Jason's. "The dead don't like when people stare y'know." The voice teased, raspy and low. My mind raced as the New York accent wasn't hard to miss and neither was the person matched to it.

"When were you gonna tell me?" Coldly, I kept my head low and spit my words out bitterly. He laughed at my harsh tone and shook his head. "Oh Dickie, I was hoping for a surprise party after all it is my birthday." My heart dropped. I wouldn't admit that I knew today was Jason's birthday and I came to wish him happy birthday to his headstone. I wasn't expecting to see Jason here since we all knew he was after Bruce and Joker. Slowly I turned around and looked up at Jason. He was taller and much bigger know. The pit aged him and there was no denying he was much more handsome now as well. His hazel eyes held a new vengeful and confident look to them. His youth was dead and the fire was now burning. It almost made me sick to my stomach. "I'm surprised Bruce isn't here to celebrate with you. Maybe he would bring fireworks and cake, he knows I love loud explosions and food." Jason was beyond angry but there was no sense in trying to defend Bruce's actions because Jason won't listen. 

"I missed you." I changed the subject as I had no other option. Blunt and out of the blue was my way of getting his attention. It worked. His eyes widen as he was surprised. "You did?" I could tell he didn't know what to say since I wasn't the one he was mad at. He couldn't make any snappy come backs. No jabs at his death, no witty ponder of how much better he is now. I didn't know how to feel. I had my options, continue to be mad at him for being an agressive prick, nudge him and act like were buddies again or keep being sentimental with him. 

The rain got heavier before a smirk grew on my lips. Jason's infamous curios look showed up as he caught my smirk. "What?" He questioned, clearly happy that he didn't have to address the 'I miss you comment'. I took off the jacket I was wearing and set it on the headstone as Jason watched me. His eyebrows furrowed together before I tackled him to the muddy ground. Jason huffed as he hit the ground and I laughed. "I knew the pit made you an old man" Jason gasps as he playfully smacks my cheek. "And Blüdhaven made you an asshole." He shot back as he pushed me off him before getting back up on his feet. He helped me up as he dropped his tough guy act.

"Where have you been hiding out?" I asked as I could tell his clothes looked dirtier than a couch in a subway station. His new grayish white hair was greasy and he smelled worse than the cemetery. Jason shrugs "I've been around. Friends all over the place". "Enemies too" I added quickly as he nods. Jason looked over himself before shaking his head and chuckles. "If you're trying to tell me I smell bad then fuck you too." I covered my mouth and broke out laughing as I didn't mean to offend Jason. I knew he wasn't upset but I didn't want to be rude. He put his jacket on me, pulling the hood over my hair since he knew how much my hair meant to me. "Thanks." I flashed him a smile as he started to walk with me back to my place. The weather wasn't getting any easier but we had trained in even worse weather. It was quiet in Gotham. Suspicious like. Most crime happened later at night but you never know what lies behind each alley. Clearly we were both on high alert, it's just what you do as a crime fighter. Tonight was definitely an off one. The storm set the tone for a miserably gloomy night. Jason loved it. The wind picked up and it's howling sounds made tonight even eerier. "Are you scared, Grayson?" Jason poked my shoulder as he smirked. "yeah I don't know what kind of diseases this coat of yours has crawling on it." I laughed as he nudged me to side a bit before I opened the door to my apartment building for him. "I'm not that unclean" He laughed along with me as he entered the building and I followed him in. "eh" I responded simply, causing him to gasp while we went to my room. The lights flickered as the storm was just about to hit it's peak. I unlocked the door as Jason looked around. I went to the cabinets and grabbed some clothes for Jason. "wife material" He mumbled justed to annoy me and I shoved the clothes to his chest. "Thanks" I said simply and lead him to the bathroom. "use the whole bar of soap please. There's another under the sink if that dirt on your face doesn't come off." I waved my hand around his face which made him look at me like he wanted to choke me. I smiled widely and patted his shoulder. "it's nice having you back."

As Jason got in the shower, I picked up my apartment. It wasn't a big place but it was more of a crash pad to me than a home. I usually ate with Alfred when I could and slept here for a few hours so there wasn't much I needed. A small kitchen, a couch, my bed and bathroom was about it. Jason didn't care though. He was never a man of comfortable living. Jay liked to be out all night and make a name for himself. I remember there was nights when the mask was on his face for so long that there would be an imprint of it around his eyes. He would get home at six a.m and sleep til eight o'clock at night then be gone for hours. I recked myself my first year as Robin that way. You don't feel human after and I think that's why he loved it so much. He can't function like everyone else, he does things his way. Reckless and uncaring. Sometimes I admired it. Being able to get up and go be a hundred percent into kicking ass and saving the day as one ego and completely forgetting your responsibilities as a normal person. I found myself staring at the wall as old memories flooded my head again. I shook them away quickly then changed into my Nightwing costume. I wanted to see Jason fight. Maybe seeing him in action would make me forget the months he was gone. Jason had gotten into the old brown Jacket I didn't wear enough to care about and some black pants that didn't fit me. He kept his gray shirt on as he stepped out of the bathroom. "I'm gonna go get my helmet and I'll meet you out by the docks." I nodded before going over to the window and crawled out into the city life.

As I arrived at the docks, I saw Jason scoping out the ocean in front of us. His eyes were dead set on finding any little off movement in the water. Paranoia wasn't something I felt often on the job because that would throw off my guard but something definitely made my stomach turn. That sinking feeling was overwhelming. Jason stood still as he waited for me or an action. Bruce showed up next to me as he made a disapproving sound. "What?" I rose an eyebrow as I looked up at my caped partner. Bruce just stared at Jason and I was quick to realize that my stomach was doing flips because of this. I nodded to tell myself that Jason won't kill Bruce or vice versa but truth be told I'm lying to myself. Bruce knew that Jason wasn't dead but Bruce didn't know exactly why. I had found out through Talia but neither her or I had the guts to tell him what happened. I figured Bruce would piece together eventually. I hopped down off the building and eventually made my way over to Jason. "Have you seen anything yet?" Jason asked, not taking his eyes off the water. His voice was calm but firm as well like he was determined to do something. "No sir" I replied, not meaning to say sir but my thoughts had my head off the deep end. I quickly got control of myself again as thinking too much could get me killed right now. I was always the more emotional one when it came to the Batfamily. Jason looked at me with a bit of concern as I cleared my throat. "Sir?" He questioned then looked up at the roof and growled. Jason was much smarter than he wanted people to know and I was probably the clumsiest acrobat ever. "Jason" I started but Jason's teeth clenched as he turned towards me. "What the fuck Richard?" Jason grabbed a handful of my suit before Bruce spoke up. "Enough Jason." Bruce joined us on the edge of the dock as Jason shoved me back a bit. "I'm just getting started." Jason smirked as he stood toe to toe with Bruce.

"Jason we're not gonna do this here." Bruce kept still, not swaying on his feet like I was. Jason was hot tempered and strong while Bruce was calm and wise. The match would of been close but I couldn't say who would of won. "No Bruce if I wanna do this here then I will." Jason snapped back. Bruce didn't respond as he'd just be giving into Jason's wishes. When Bruce turned his back to Jason and started to walk away, I could see Jason's expression fall. He wanted Bruce to fight with him. He wanted to get closure and understanding for why Bruce let him die. You could see it in his eyes. "No!" Jason yells, grabbing Bruce's shoulder as his teeth clenched back together again. He pulled Bruce around before Bruce grabbed his arm and twisted him around. One of the more painful moves. Bruce wasn't playing his games but the remorse would of been nice. "Jason if you wanna talk like adults then we can somewhere private but I will not fight a little child." Bruce disappeared into the night after that, leaving both Jason and I speechless. 

Jason punched the ground and growled in anger. "Fuck him." He spat out then threw his jacket at me. I watched quietly as I held his jacket. Jason started to pace up and down the dock, his plan fell apart before his eyes and I was that person he wanted to see that. We headed back to my place mostly because I wanted to watch Jason to make sure he didn't hurt himself or go after Bruce. Jason crashed on the couch as I grabbed an ice pack for his shoulder. A twist like that usually breaks shoulder blades, happens to me a lot, but Bruce wouldn't hurt Jason that much. The twist itself still hurts a lot, broken or not. I kinda liked Jason being here with me. Overall I liked Jason being alive to be honest. I handed him to ice pack as he thanked me. I gave Jason time to calm down alone after and headed to my room. As I laid down on my bed I started to think.

I had suppressed the thoughts of Jason's death for the last couple of weeks. I never had time to fully process my feelings for his death and him in general. We had become close in the weeks before his death. He patrolled with me a lot on one of my cases and I helped him with his school work. Jason was finally getting use to having a hardcore job, school, emotions and a social life before the accident. I felt guilt wash over me again. If only I had been there. I had dreams about murdering Joker with my bare hands over and over. I'd beat him the way he did Jason and I'd let Jason give the final blow. That's where Jason and I were at a cross roads. I wanted Joker to suffer but he didn't blame his death on Joker. He felt Bruce was the main reason. I pulled at my hair before looking up at Jason. He stood in the doorway with a soft smile on his face. "Can I have a blanket?" He asked. I got out of my bed quickly and shook my head. "Take my bed. How inconsiderate of me." Jason just laughed at me as he took my hand and lead me back to bed. "We can share it." He said simply. My eyes widened before I chuckled. "I knew you just wanted to get in my bed." Jason nudged me playfully and nodded. "Yeah you know me well."


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made this chapter on my laptop so please excuse format and errors :)

Jason sleeping with me wasn't the worst thing but I could definitely live without his snoring.

I woke up before Jason, something that won't ever change. 'You Know I'm No Good' by Amy Winehouse was playing on the radio as I took my morning shower. I thought about last night and Bruce's reaction. He was right but I understood Jason's emotions, although he would say he was an emotionless killer. It broke my heart to known that a once overly excited Robin could turn out to be heartless sharp shooter. I questioned myself even. What if I could be like that? Instead of saving lives, what if I murdered? I couldn't. I blamed seeing my parents deaths to be my reason. Jason was different though. He didn't care about his parents and Bruce was the only person he wanted to impress. Jason use to mean well but he never agreed with Bruce's means of getting answers. I think Bruce wanted Jason to end up like me and felt failed by everything that has happened. 

"Dick, where's my jacket?" I heard Jason call to me.

I thought for a moment then yelled back. "kitchen counter!" I figured Jason would of slept longer with his shoulder messed up the way it is after Bruce twisted it. I guess rising for the dead makes you a little more tolerant to pain. I washed my long dark locks of hair as I hummed along with the radio. I tried to listen to where Jason was but I couldn't hear a peep. My eyebrows furrowed together in thought before I shook it off and continued to wash up. I stepped out of the shower a few minutes later and slid into some sweatpants. My apartment wasn't very big so when I went to the kitchen and didn't see Jason I already knew he was gone. Sighing softly, I dragged my fingers through my wet hair then shook my head. "Oh no" I whispered to myself as I realized Jason is still pissed about last night. 

I quickly dried my hair then changed into my Nightwing suit and went after Jason. 

**

Jason seemed like a man out of place. He started to wear tighter clothes that showed off his new muscles but most people of Gotham are too lazy and self centered to care about working out. They just want the money. That's why no one finds Penguin that revolting anymore. He's practically the new normal. Gotham was use to the crazy hair though. I mean Joker is basically a rock star to the people of Gotham. But most of all his attitude and actions were insane in Gotham. Shooting up bars for fun because some crime boss was there was an extremely ballsy thing to. Most people work their ways up and plan for years, watching crime bosses stay at the top until old age or Batman gets them. Unlike Batman, Red Hood had no highly known identity that made him blend in. Only crime knew him full on. It was strange that as Robin he never gave out his identity but as Red Hood he barely wore anything to cover his name. He could of just wrote 'Hi I'm Jason Todd' on his forehead for fucks sake it wouldn't make much of a difference.

I had checked around town for bars that Jason talked about recently but didn't find a trace of him. He wasn't at the Manor either. That I was thankful for. I wanted to be in denial about Jason going after Bruce. I didn't want to be in the middle of a family feud when I cared about both of them. Somehow I ended up at the cemetery. In my mind the only place I ever saw Jason was at his headstone so maybe the last twenty-four hours was just a dream and I'm back to talking to nothing. I sat next to his stone then laid my head against it. The rain had stopped earlier today but the sky still looked gloomy. I sighed as I started to talk to his headstone like I always do. "Happy late birthday Jason." I spoke softly and closed my eyes. "Thanks, so where's my cake?" Jason's voice made my eyes snap open. "why are you always here? Do have like some dead person kink?" Jason said then gasps as he puts his hand on his chest. "Do you want to fuck me? Oh Lord you do!" Jason continued before I had kicked him in the shin, causing him to laugh. "Happy birthday, Jay." I said again before standing up. My suit was waterproof which I was thankful for after the mud would of left a mess on normal clothes. Jason helped me up then smiled. "thank you that's all I've ever wanted to hear." He gleamed. "Really?" I asked as I was a bit shocked that it was that simple to make him happy. "no." He shook his head as he probably wanted an apology from Bruce more than anything.

I wasn't sure what to do after that. He went back to one of his many hideouts and I wandered around roof tops looking for something to change my thoughts. Jason was different from anyone I've ever met and honestly that scared me. I couldn't read him, couldn't tell what he wanted or needed. I was a people pleaser and still am so not being able to fix him fucked me up. That was the problem. Jason didn't want to be fixed, didn't want help. He felt as if I was too smothering but I can't be as unattached as him. When he slept next to me, I felt like everything was fine again but I was only telling myself sweet lies. It drove me insane that he still hung around like he loved me. He was intoxicating, the way he made me feel like the only man in the world while all at the same time not feeling like anything at all. It was starting to suck the life out of me.

A sudden alarm rung out throughout the eastern part of town. My head quickly turned towards the sound as my feet were not too far behind. I ran as fast as I could to the shop next to one of Jason's favorite bars. "Help! Someone please help!" A woman screamed as she pointed into the store. My eyes caught one man with slicked back hair beating another man. His bloody fist seemed to be hitting the man under him quite hard. I grabbed the unknown man by his shoulders and slammed him onto the floor. Within seconds I realized it was Jason on top of one of Joker's old men. The man's jaw looked broken as blood covered his face. I was disappointed but understood the situation. "He's crazy!" The man shouted as my eyes looked over at Jason. I didn't want to but I knew had to make sure he won't make another move. The man was clean, been clean for months but it doesn't justify that he was a criminal once yet that doesn't mean Jay can murder him either. In Jason's head this was a dose of revenge and i knew he'd want more. I watched his chest rise and fall dramatically as rage induced adrenaline coursed through his veins. His eyes were dead set on the once criminal with venom in his green orbs. Police sirens were heard in the distance and I began to panic. I couldn't take Jason from a crime scene but there's no way I was gonna let him get caught. He didn't agree with the justice system and I knew he would go after the GCPD. I pulled a smoke bomb from my belt then dragged a furious Jason out the back door then grappled us up to the roof of a near by building. The moment I knew we were save I cuffed his hands together. "What do you think you're doing?" Jason spat as he glared up at me before standing up quickly. "Making sure you don't do anything stupid." I spoke softly as I tried to keep a mature composure but with Jason that was ridiculously difficult. He tried to headbutt me but I leaned back quickly. He swung his foot out, using the toe of shoe to hook around the dip in my ankle. Pulling my foot towards him, I quickly bounced backwards into a back flip. "Ah little boy wonder still has his cute little flips and tricks." I furrowed my eyebrows as Jason's comment caught me off guard. "What's wrong? Not use to your own family betraying you? Welcome to my life." He spoke bitterly as if trying to make me sympathize for him but I wouldn't lower my guard again. I wanted to be cold and ruthless but it wasn't in my blood. "Jason, I know you wanted to kill him but it's Joker we should be going after. Not a retired henchman." Jason nodded slowly as stepped closer to me. That smart brain of his was starting to think more clearly and with less blind rage. Jason was smart and clever but his rage turns into pure aggression. Usually making him run harder but more blindly into bad places. 

"We?" He asked simply as I nodded back confidently. "I like that." He nods as well before holding his hands out for me to uncuff them. I took the key from my belt then slowly unlocked the cuffs. Jason handed me back the cuffs before I put them away. As I looked up to thank Jason for calming down, his fist connected with jaw. I fell back onto the ground as Jason straddles my hips, pinning me in place. His hand wrapped around my throat while I tried to get him off me. Jason was much heavier than which put him at an advantage. "If you think you're gonna help me then run and tell Bruce about everything, I will not hesitate on putting you in my grave, Grayson." His voice was firm as I felt apart of me snap. I wanted this all to end. I wanted Joker dead for hurting my best friend, I wanted Jason to be happy and most of all I wanted my life back. I threw Jason off me before punching him square in the nose. He groaned out in pain as his eyes went back. I knew he never expected me to hurt him but I guess that evened out the fight. "Why can't you trust me!?" I shouted, grabbing arms as I tried to hold him down. He didn't struggle as he laid there and gave me a 'you really don't know' look. "What?" I asked.

"You let me die."

I paused as my expression fell. Slowly I slide off him and shook my head in denial. "N-no I didn't" I stuttered. Thankfully my mask covered my watering eyes as my heart sank. I always felt like his death was my fault. Maybe I didn't do enough to save him or he shouldn't of gotten caught in the first place but hearing him save that made it so much worse. "Bruce let me die but it hurt that you weren't at my funeral." He stated like he knew in head everything and I was jealous of that. He knew how he felt but I have never been so confused in my life. "I'm sorry." It was all I could say and he accepted it. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Jason disappeared. I should of followed him but I wanted to be alone. I thought for awhile before disappearing as well.

I hid in Bludhaven for awhile and maybe that was a mistake but I needed to get away. I kept with the costume and made it my new skin. I wore the mask so much my cheeks were tanner than my eyes. Work was the only way to keep me distracted. As Christmas rolled around I decided a week off would be nice and I packed up for Gotham. Alfred cleaned my old room out for me to stay and nostalgia flooded my senses. The smell of my old cologne still lingered on my black and blue sheets. Pictures of memories still hung on the walls. I set my bag on my bed and walked over to a certain photo. Jason's arm was around my shoulder and I like and idiot was trying to pretend to kiss his face. He looked much longer in the photo but it was only a year before the pit aged him. "Have you heard from him lately?" I asked as I knew Bruce was watching from the door frame.

"Not since you left." Bruce answered as I frowned. "Did something happen between you two?" Bruce questioned back. I wanted to explain everything but this was between Jason and I. I thought back to when Jason held me down the roof and the words he said. "No. Jason just didn't like the way Gotham was anymore." Bruce nodded as he walked over to me. "Well I hope you stick around for Christmas dinner. Alfred is making his famous hot chocolate for everyone." My eyes lit up as I missed Alfred's meals. "I'll be here until you have to drag me from the table with a heart attack." I chuckled as Bruce shakes his head, cracking a warm smile. I really missed being home. 

Later that night I wondered if Jason missed being here as well. It had been a few weeks since he showed his face around anyone and I worried if he perhaps he was gone for good this time. I told myself over and over how I was better off without him but soon enough everything would return to chaos. My phone buzzed as I received a message. I opened the text and read quietly to myself. 

"Hope you didn't miss me being on top of you too much ;) See ya soon Dickie Boy. -Love JayBird"


	3. Chapter 3

I hung up some wreaths around the Manor. I felt overwhelmed by the size of my old home. I had been living in small apartments for so long that the kitchen alone felt like and endless room of cabinets and open space. It made me question if I preferred to be alone or not. Jason was one of the only people I've ever had stay at my place even if it was only a few hours. I missed the nail and almost hit my thumb but quickly caught myself before a cuss word could slip between my lips. "Careful now, Master Dick." Alfred warned in a teasing tone and I rolled my eyes playfully. "You'd think I'd have a bit more grace, huh?" Alfred laughed at my remark while I placed the wreath on the nail. I slowly came off the ladder as Alfred handed me a glass of water. "Dehydration still exists in the cold weather." He informed me and I nodded. I chugged down most of the water before thanking Alfred as he smiled back at me. It felt nice to have someone like Alfred around. Someone who listened to you when you were down but also picked you back up even when you felt you couldn't. Growing up I always thought it was Bruce who taught me the most but in reality, it was Alfred who taught me how to live. 

I wondered around the Manor as there was not much else to do once we hung up some of the most boring and outdated decorations I've ever seen. I stopped outside of Jason's old room and felt my heart sink once again. Christmas was once he favorite holiday and he would run out of his room Christmas morning faster than he would on patrol. Compared to Tim and I, he was the most normal as far as childhood goes. It's ashame how he turned out... As a kid he had more energy, bouncing off walls with excitement and ambition. I think Bruce loved how eager he was at the time to be Robin. It had been awhile since he had a bird under his wing at the time after I left. But it was when he became a teenager, Bruce learned that Jason was much more hard headed and aggressive than me. When it came fighting, I was most agile not just on my feet but with my attacks while Jason worked off pure instincts. Back then Jason was more apologitic with his mistakes. Although I made less mistakes Bruce took them more serious which angered me. It's the reason why I left to be on my own. 

His room was dark. Simply just abandoned and untouched. Alfred couldn't walk near his room let alone clean it as he was mourning Jason even to this day. I slowly stepped into his room and flicked on the light. His walls were dark crimson red, his favorite color with the bed sheets to match. The bed was still a mess since the last time he woke up before the incident. Posters hung on his walls of his favorite movies at the time plus a few newspaper articles about him as Robin. I never saw someone as proud as him to be in green tights kicking ass. Jason had a few baseballs around the room from times he beat Bruce in a game of who could hit the ball further. In the corner he had some photos that he was meaning to put up but never had the chance. The same photo I had in my room was near the bottom of the pile. Another one of his favorite memories. 

I sat on his bed and shook my head as if I could release myself from this awful nightmare. "Hurry up Bird Brain." Jason teased as he came in through the window. "It's been months and you're still mourning?" He asked. "I guess so." I looked up at him while he walked around his old room. "Still smells like Alfie's pancakes." He stated as he sniffed the air. "Probably because you have a stack in the corner you were trying to hide." Jason wrinkled his nose as he saw the old pancakes than shook his head. "I was disgusting as a teen." I laughed a bit too hard at his words which made Bruce peek his head into the room. "Dick, why are you--?" He stopped mid sentence and tilted his head back softly. "breaking and entering is a serious crime, Jason." I stopped laughing quickly then stood up, putting my hand in front of Jason to hold him back if I needed to. "Legally my mail comes here so this is my home, right?" I held back a snicker as I forgot Jason by law still lived here. "Well I suppose that's true but why are you here? You don't have bills to pay." I looked between the two men as Jason shrugged. "came for my Christmas postcards." He laughed softly as Jason put my hand by myself. "It's okay Dick, I wouldn't hurt him." Jason shook his head again as I'm sure he mumbled 'yet' under his breath. 

"Christmas dinner is tomorrow at 6. I hope you can make it, Jason." Bruce said it almost emotionlessly which made it worse before it sounded better and Jason nodded. "I'll see you then." I was shocked at the formal speech from Jason. I was expecting a firm 'fuck you old man' but wow.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was super short I'm sorry but I hit post without preview because I was rushing. Silly me.

Nervous. It's all I felt. In my bones, my stomach, my chest. Everything ached from anxiety, worse than being tied up on patrol for days on end. At least then you know you'll either make out alive or not. Right now I couldn't predict the end. Bruce was getting ready for Jason to come over and I was pacing the hallways. Bruce was oddly making the house look like a welcome home party. What if Jason thinks it's too much and gets mad? What if he really loves being center of attention? I bit at my nails before bumping into Alfred. I jumped nearly out of my skin as my hand landed on my chest. "Aflie!" I cried out as he quickly his balance like he knew he was gonna scare me. "Nail biting is a filthy habit." He pointed out as I nodded like a child. "I'm sorry." My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly pulled it from beside my hip.

"Be there soon." Jason texted me and it only made me worse. I texted back quickly as Alfred raised an eyebrow at me before going back to what he was doing. "Alright. What's your plan?" I bite my lip and sent the message before running over to my room. I climbed over to the big window like a child waiting for the postman to come with a package. I waited for Jason for what felt like hours. He eventually showed up and pulled into the drive way on his motorcycle. He looked better on a bike than I did and it almost made me swoon. I never thought of myself as someone who lived for danger but you have to when you fight crime or you just get bored. I liked the rush but not like Jason. He was so laid back that the rush chased him or that's how it seemed. He pulled his helmet off his head then slicked back his white bangs. I think he looked so much older with white in his hair to the point where I forget he was five years younger than I. Now with the pits effects he was only about two years younger in physical and mental form. He looked up at my window like he knew I was watching. I laughed as I grabbed a shoe off my floor then threw it at him. "What the fuck?" He laughed at me as I picked up my shoe and walked inside. "Hello? Hi. I'm looking for Cinderella. I think she lost her shoe." He said like he meant it which made me laugh again as I ran downstairs. I peeked off the stairs at him like I was waiting for Santa to come down the chimney as a kid. "Yes, Ms.Cinderella is upstairs and dinner will be ready soon." Alfred played along as Jason headed to the stairs. He was in tight black jeans and a nice white t-shirt, layered by his leather jacket. I spring up the stairs with a flip then wondered back into my room. I hid behind my door before Jason could see me. As he walked by me I popped out in front of him, causing him to smack me with my shoe. "Ow!" I exclaimed as if he scared me more than I did him. "You're so lame." He shook his head and tossed my shoe in the corner. "Excuse me? Looks who talking Mr.Leather Jacket Biker Babe." I rolled my eyes as he plopped down on my bed. "Do you miss it here?" He asked as I looked over at him. I shrugged softly as I really wasn't quite sure. "Why do you ask?" Jason shrugged as well and looked around my room. "It's much cleaner here. Even though I hate this house to all hell, I prefer it over your shithole." "Well my shithole doesn't have a Butler so." I glared at him as I was a bit defensive over probably the only thing I've ever owned in my life, seeing how the Robin title was never fully mine and I barely can say the Nightwing title was either being home everyone still says I work with Batman. "Sorry, Alfie is a babe." Jason played with his hair as I laughed at his comment. "Why don't you go tell him that?" A smirk crawled on my lips as I dared Jason and he sat up with interest. "Fine I will." He gets up and goes downstairs with me not too far behind.

"Hey Alf--" Jason started but was quickly cut off as he saw Bruce. My fears set back in and Jason smirked. That smirked scared me more than anything. "Hello Brucie." He teased as he knew Bruce hated being called that. "Good evening Jason." Bruce said back seriously and stepped closer to Jason. Alfred set the table then cleared his throat to remove the tension in the air. God I love him. "Masters, dinner is served." He stated as we all took our seats. Jason took the guest spot at the end of the table across from Bruce. I expected him to sit at his old place but this was his way of saying 'I'm not your son anymore'

Bruce swallowed down his pride as he gave a gentle nod, acknowledging Jason's gesture. "So, Jason, how have you been?" Bruce asked and I practically face-palmed. "How do you think?" Jason recant as he titled his head in disbelief. At this point I think Jason picked up on Bruce's denial. I found it weird that Bruce would question Jason so inconsiderately. "I meant to ask what have you been up to?" Yeah sure whatever you say Bruce ran through our heads as Jason and I looked back at each other. I got up and cleared my throat before walking to my room. I could feel Bruce looking at me in confusion as I didn't ask to be dismissed or say anything at all. I didn't want to see the end of this conversation. Didn't want to know how I lose another loved one. Nothing changes. Nothing gets better so I knew Jason was just gonna get up and walk out like he always does.

i could hear doors slamming, screaming, yelling and more echoing through the large decor hallways. I can't say I didn't expect this. Before I could even think about what was going on I heard Jason taking off on his bike. Bruce must of went after him as Alfred was cleaning up Jason's mess. I creeped back downstairs and shook my head. "What happened?" I asked but I already knew the answer. "Master Todd won't be allowed back at the manor for sometime I suppose." I tried to act like I didn't see this coming but Alfred was already one step ahead of me. Bruce and Jason were all over town before I had finished cleaning their mess. Alfie and I watched as numerous reports came in from all over Gotham. I thought Al was gonna have a heart attack before the end of the night. But then everything went silent. No word from either of them and I was worried. 

-Jason's POV-

Adrenaline was better than any form of drug I've seen. The chase, fear excitement all pumping through your veins as you squealed and coiled with anxiety and joy. It was hard to explain how I felt any other way. I lived to be on the edge and even at the end of it all, death couldn't even stop me. Bruce was on my tail the whole time and I felt unstoppable. We had a few breaks to tango but he didn't seem to mind letting me slip through his fingers. He gave up half way through the night and headed home. Disappointed, I called Dick. Dick was something else. He was handsome beyond belief, a hero, goodie two shoes that was clearly head over heels in love with idea of me. We're opposites and that's how magnets work but if I hurt the golden boy Bruce would kill me... again.

"Oh thank God, Jay where are you?" Dick's voice seemed worried but quickly replaced with concern. I smiled as he was adorable when he was worried. Slicking down my black locks I looked around and tried to make out just exactly where I was. "I don't know." I know that was not a good answer or one he would accept but oh well. "What do you mean you don't know?" Dick asked with an annoyed tone. He was so hot when he was annoyed or pissed off especially when I'm the reason for it. "What do you think?" I laughed as I further annoyed the older man behind the phone. A groan later Dick had pin point my location. "I'll come get you." He said, causing me to grin. "Thanks honey."

It didn't take dick too long to get here. Before I could explain myself he stomped over to me as if he was upset. Honestly that scared me as Dick had the lightest step ever. He grabbed my cheeks with his palms then crashed his lips to mine. My eyes went wide as he caught me off guard. I was shocked as I was gonna kiss him first but he was usually faster than me anyways. Relaxing against his soft pink lips, I felt the world slow around me. It made adrenaline seem so much weaker compared to his pure bliss. I wrapped my arms around him as seconds felt like hours and I didn't care what time it was. I had the hottest man in Gotham making out with me and nothing felt better. "you're an ass." He mumbled against my lips, causing me to break out laughing. "Why's that?" I asked as he pulled away to slap my face playfully. "You just are." He rolled his eyes then laughed as well. "I know."


	5. Chapter Five

-Dick's POV-

I took off for patrol with the widest smirk. I felt confident, like I could punch Superman. I laughed at the thought but Jason's reaction was priceless. The night was pretty basic as far as crime went but that didn't stop my mood. Heading back home was the only downside. I wanted Jason to come home with me.

I had never been one for seeking attention but I didn't mind all eyes on me. Maybe that's why I miss the circus. I unlocked the window to my apartment the climbed through it, knowing no one saw me. Peeling off my costume I felt something was off. The black and blue suit was barely off my shoulders when I stopped dead in my tracks. I grabbed a wing ding from my belt then threw it in the direction behind me. A loud thud caused me to turn in my tracts. As my eyes gazed upon my suspicions, I saw the sharp tip of the weapon I had thrown dead center in the strange mans forehead. My eyes went wide as I realized I just murdered a man. I struggled to pick up my phone as I tried to call Jason. "Hello?" His voice was raspy as he was just waking up from my call. "J-jay can you come over now?" I was panicking. I just murdered a man! I don't know why he was in my house but I shouldn't of attacked him first. "What's wrong?" I could hear Jason getting out of bed as he heard the anxiety in my words. "Don't answer that I'll be over soon" He added before I could say anything.

It felt like it took Jason forever to get here. The clock on my wall ticked louder than ever before as I chewed at my nails. What if Bruce finds out? What if the cops do? I don't kill. I hid in my room as I could't look at the body. I heard the door shut as Jason's steps echoed down the hall. "Grayson?" He called out as stumbled through the dark. "Fuck.." He spoke under his breath as he found the body. Jason was use to death, everything about death he was use to. He ran down the hall and into my room before coming over to me. I wanted him here but not like this. Tears streamed down my face as I broke the main rule I ever knew. Jason's strong hands cupped my cheeks as his palms caught my tears. He made me look at him as his face was firm like a parent telling their kid they did wrong. "It's okay, Dick. I'll help you through this, just calm down please." It was weird to see Jason being so helpful. I nodded slowly as my breathing quivered. My shaking slowly subsided as Jason got up and walked back over to the body. "I'm gonna take care of this okay, Dick." He spoke calmly and softly as I nodded again. "You stay here and do me a favor. Make me a bowl of cereal." I couldn't tell if it was his way of distracting me or just getting a bowl of cereal.

Jason was out putting the body somewhere while I stayed back and smoked a cigarette. The skinny white cancer stick was held between my two fingers. The smoke was clouding my vision a bit but my eyes were focused on the ground below me. I didn't think of much, I just let the cigarette calm me. "Does Bruce know you smoke?" Barbara asked me as I was sitting outside of her apartment. I came here a lot when I'm upset. There was something here that soothed me but it wasn't her. She always made me feel like Bruce and I were at war. She always was jealous of how Bruce treated me but I didn't see why. He held me to higher expectation but I guess she wanted equality. I looked up at her. She was in the window in the six floor. "No I don't smoke much so I don't see a problem." Perhaps I spoke a bit bitterly but I was in the worst mood. "Ah, I see." She mumbled, quickly picking up that I was upset. 

"I don't see anything wrong with a good cigarette." Jason chimed in. A wide smirk on his face to cover the fact that he knew I killed someone. No one would ever expect him to say anything especially when he doesn't like anyone see past that confident, cocky attitude. "Says the guy who thinks hundred percent alcohol is weak." I tried to tease with a soft laugh but Jason nudged me and shook his head. "You should try it sometime." He winked then looked up at Barbara. "So you're the reason he's fucking up his lungs and liver?" Jason shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. He looked over at me then took the cigarette from my hand. Jason took a slow and long drag from the nicotine packed stick. He blew the smoke in my face then started laughing. "If I wanted him to wreck his body, he'd be an alcoholic already begging for me to keep up his high." Barbara rolled her eyes. "Sure." She scoffed.

We talked for a little bit but never said a word about what I had done. I put my fake face on and followed Jason's lead. He was like a calculated murder by the way he covered my tracks. Once I had finally calmed down I started to see how Jason felt. Murder wasn't as bad as I thought. What's the point of fighting if the only end is eventually another fight? When we got home I felt something in me change. "Jason?" I asked, tilting my head in question as I sat on the couch.

"Yes?" He looked over me but I didn't respond. I stared at my hands as Jason walked over to me. "Dildo?" He teased, trying to get me to laugh but again I didn't say anything. He sat down in front of me on the table. "Are you still upset about the incident." He wouldn't say murder in front of me, anyone else he would of but I knew he knew me better than that. I nodded softly which made him smile that I was able to open up. Jason gently took my hand in his. "What are you thinking about?" I looked up at him as I gathered my words in my head. "How do you feel after you kill someone?" I spoke softly as Jason nodded, realizing where I was coming from. "Uh well. I feel empowered, in control, like I'm finally getting Justice." Usually I would of fought him on the whole empowered thing but now I understand. "Dick, do you wanna talk about this? How are you feeling?" He asked but to me he sounded like Bruce when he actually paid attention to our mental health. I guess he sounded like Alfred more too.

Jason got up quickly then went to my room. I followed behind him quickly. "What are you doing?" I asked as he started getting dressed. "Put on your suit. I wanna show you something."


	6. Chapter Six

With a cocky smirk and a back flip onto the roof, I felt my blood rushing through my veins like never before. Like a mummy rising from it's grave and turning into Superman was the only explanation I had for the adrenaline I felt. Jason must of noticed as he ran next to me and winked. I shot a wink right back, chuckling at how ridiculous this was. We weren't chasing anyone or anything like usual, we were racing. Seeing who could get to the top of the clock tower first. Jason pulled out his grappling hook and started to pull himself up to the clock while sticking his tongue out at me. "Later loser." I pulled out a batarang then threw it at the proper angle for it to fly through the night sky before cutting the rope that was pulling him. As soon as I had released the batarang, I started running to catch Jason. He fell straight into my arms like a cat falling out of a tree. With a huff and a glare, Jason looked up at me then playfully batted his eyelashes. "My hero." He cooed. I laughed as he hopped out of my arms then fixed his suit. I gave him a small salute then spread out my wings. With a small leap off the building I let the air glide me up to the clock. Jason wasn't too far behind with a new grappling hook. By the time he caught up to me I was already sitting down with my feet dangling off the ledge. "What took you so long?" I teased before Jason had thumped me upside the back of my head. "Hey!" I shouted, grabbing at his hand to try and stop him. "Are you trying to hold my hand?" He asked then sat next to me. "Maybe." I shrugged. "But then again you probably have a disease." I added which made Jason laugh. "Good one." We had watched the sun rise like we did as kids. It was quite for awhile except for some birds in the tower behind us. "I wonder if they're Robins?" Jason looked at me as he gently took my mask off my nose. We were too high up for anyone to see us to I didn't mind. His green eyes looked back into mine before he leaned forward and kissed me softly. I leaned into the kiss as well while reaching up to cup his cheek softly. His lips tasted like cigarettes and mint chocolate. He was probably eating girl scout cookies for breakfast again. Each second felt like hours and I didn't want it to end. Jason pulled back slowly and I watched his eyes open like he was just waking up. "Don't Tell Bruce." He mumbled before patting my cheek. I nodded then rolled my eyes softly. "What?" He asked and narrowed his eyes at me. "Why would I tell Bruce I made out with you?" I laughed as Jason shrugged. "I bet they're Robins." He looked up at the oclock, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. "The birds. Yeah. I bet they're Robins." He said again like he was suddenly obsessed with birds. Jason stood up and walked over to the clock. He opened a door that led inside. I got up as well and followed behind him. Jason growled before grabbing a handful of red and black fabric. "A red Robin. To be exact." He held Tim up a bit by the hood of his cape. "Let me go!" Tim huffed and tried to turn and hit Jason, but Jason blocked him. "I see why have a fly problem." Jason shoved Tim in my direction. "Jason, I didn't know he was here." I said truthfully although I knew Bruce wasn't happy with how close Jason and I were getting. Barbara had told Bruce that Jason had started staying with me more and about Jason patrolling with me as well but didn't say anything about the murder. Bruce was upset that I had let a criminal into my home but that criminal was my best friend and to some extent my brother... At this point I didn't care about pleasing Bruce's standards.

All I cared about was the broken boy in front of me. In his eyes you could feel his pain, his anger and most of all his disappointment. "Jason." I whispered as my voice cracked. Betrayal in his scoff and a sour twist in his face as he fights back his emotions. Tim sat there quietly before running towards the window. Perhaps this will end poorly with Bruce but I had a back up plan, I always did. As Tim left I stepped closer to Jason. "Don't." Jason mumbled coldly while turning away. He was like a teenager that had been abandoned as a child.

My arm extended out towards Jason but in my mind I didn't want to. I watched him gulp as if he was fighting the urge to ignore me or hit me but instead I watched tears roll down his eyes. "I'm sorry." He looked over at me and I nodded once. I was taken off guard but I respected his apology with no second thoughts. Our relationship was getting better and nothing made me happier. He isn't running from his problems anymore. Jason was starting get close to me and not disappearing for days. "I'm sorry for blaming my death on you. For trying to turn you against Bruce. For all of this." Jason looked down as he didn't have the courage to look up at me. I cupped his cheeks in my palms and nodded again. "Thank you." I smiled softly and made Jason look at me. The clock struck midnight and Jason laughed softly returning back to his normal self. He quickly kissed me deeply causing me to realize that it was years day.

His fingers crawled down my back before pulling me close to him. Wrapping my arms over his shoulders, I could feel him smiling against my lips. My heart was doing more flips than I could do. Jason and I had made out for a bit before we were both breathless and grinning messes. Jason laughed at me as I was blushing madly. "Stop it." I crossed my arms playfully. "You're a jerk." I turned my back to him. "Oh come on!" Jason kept laughing as he grabbed my hips. I turned to face him and chuckled. His eyes were bright again and I couldn't feel my cheeks as my smile was like novacaine. I don't think I'll ever understand the mood swings Jason goes through but I'm on this rollercoaster with him until the end...

Jason wrapped one arm over my shoulders and pulled me along the side walk with him. We left the clock tower before the sun had rised so no one would see us. We changed back into our causal clothes so we could go get breakfast and one more sleepless night didn't feel bad. I was surprised he was still wide awake. Patrol sometimes went on for days but I remember Jason was always falling asleep. He was a boy then but he must of out grew that phase.

"I'll pay." Jason said which made me laugh. He looked at me weirdly as I shrugged. "What?" He asked. "Are you really gonna pay?" I looked over at him. I heard some pop song playing in the diner. I started to dance just to embarrass Jason. "I know I've been a real bad girl. I didn't mean for you to get hurt whatsoever. We can make it better. Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?" I sang and danced around. The song was sadly fitting. Jason grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. He was taller than me so it was easy for him to try to smother me against his torso. "You're such a dork." He laughed. I smiled as I took in his scent and listened to his low laugh in his chest. I hugged him tightly then grunted as I picked him up. He let out a loud laugh as I carried him over to the booths. "Grayson!" He playfully pulled my hair, making me moan back teasingly. Jason gasped and then smirked, whispering down to me. "I bet I can get you to do it again later." I licked over my bottom lip at Jason's attempt to get me going. "You wish." My eyes rolled in response while I carefully sat him down. Jason fixed his shirt then flicked my forehead. "Hey!" I glared at him as I sat down.

Jason sat across from me then ordered us both a large stack of pancakes. I took my phone from my pocket and saw a message from Bruce. Glancing up at Jason, he was staring at something outside like he saw some interesting. I quickly unlocked my phone and read the text. 'Dick, Tim told me what happened. Is Jason with you? Come see me when you can.' Apart of me wanted to ignore Bruce and tell him that I had my hands full because if Jason finds out about this then I might lose him again. I wanted to feel free like Jason. I wanted to do my own thing and not have Bruce on my shoulder. I looked up at Jason again and gathered my words. "Jason?" I tapped my foot against his before he looked over at me. "Huh? Sorry, I was staring at that sign over there." He was so cute when he wasn't angry. He was calm, just living his life and not on some crazy revenge mission. "Bruce uh he texted me and I was wondering if you think I should talk to him." Jason looked at me oddly like he was confused why I wanted his opinion. "Well.." He started. "You know personally I wouldn't." He laughed. "Then I won't." I smiled widely, Jason blinked a few times then punched my arm. "Ow!" I wailed. "What's that for!?" I glared at him, making Jason laugh harder. "I'm sorry, I'm making sure I'm not dreaming." Jason rubbed my arm softly. My eyes rolled again as I nudged him. "Pinch yourself next time." I mumbled. "Why do you wanna be like me?" Jason asked. 

I thought for a moment. The waitress set our plates in front of us as I shrugged. I picked up my fork and started to cut up parts of the pancakes. Jason waited patiently for my response. The world seemed to get quiet and I started to shake my head at my own thoughts. "You're not gonna tell me are you?" Jason gently grabbed my hand. My blue eyes met up with his green ones followed by his gentle smile. "I'm tired of living in Bruce's shadow. Under his roof. Under his rules." Jason nodded at my answer. "Isn't that why you're Nightwing now?" He spoke silently so no one could hear that. "Yes." He had a point. I see that I tried to run and do my own thing but it was just a leash and I got yanked back to Bruce. Just like a child torturing a poor dog. I couldn't escape the same way Jason did. With no sense of regret. No guilt. Or so he made it seem that way.

We finished eating in silence but it wasn't uncomfortable. Jason knew I was thinking. I was cautious with Jason. I wanted to trust that he wouldn't try to manipulate me but I couldn't tell with him. 

"We can take on this city together, Dick." Jason nudged me as he sounded like an ambitious teen. I laughed as I knew where he was going with that. "We can get justice." His fist was up in the air as he looked at me. "And put the bad guys away." He smirked as I grabbed his hand. "Now who's the one who's embarrassing?" I teased.


	7. Chapter Seven

Patrol was busy for the first few hours but we must of scared everyone else away. Our feet dangled off the ledge of a building in the city. Jason had an ear bud in and he was jamming out. Heading banging softly like no one was watching. A smirk crossed over my lips as I watched him. His eyes looked at me then narrowed. "What?" He asked with no amusement. Shrugging my shoulders, I chuckled. "Nothing." I said simply. "Yeah sure." 

"Dickie, do you remember back in high school?" Jason asked.

I looked over at Jason as he pulled the earbud from his ear. Nodding softly and furrowing my eyebrows together I had looked at Jason weirdly. "Yeah, why?" He shrugged in response. "I guess I miss those days."

"Oh." Nodding in a bit of agreement, I had felt the same. Back then Jason looked up to me literally and figuratively. It felt like there was never a bad day when we were kids. Jason was full of life then so innocent and excited for life. It crushed me. Pulling me in close to him, Jason smelled like cigarettes and a semi expensive cologne. I smiled as he held me in his arms. "I know what you're thinking but doesn't it seem like the sky is lifting?" Jason whispered to me but it sounded like he was trying to talk to himself. "Huh?" I looked up at him while he shook his head. His shoulders shrugged softly, his eyes set up at the sky. "No, tell me." I begged softly as Jason's eyes met mine. "Its nothing. I don't know what I'm saying." I watched him carefully before he laughed. "Okay, Dickie stop playing good cop bad cop with me." I smirked before leaning up and kissed him deeply. Gasping, grabbing and soft moans. Jason was more than perfect but he was better when he was caught off guard by my kisses. "Oh, Dickie." He teased.

I wasn't much a partier but Jason was for sure. Pulling a bottle from his jacket, he had handed it to me to hold. The alcohol was more of a painkiller to him than a good time. The pit had left deep scars under his skin untreated and most nights he couldn't sleep through the pain. He had to pass out drunk or pray he didn't feel anything in order to sleep. "One drink won't kill ya, would it?" Jason smirked as he nudged me. Shrugging my shoulders forward softly, I wasn't gonna put a damper on his night. He smiled in return. I lifted the bottle up to my lips and took a quick swig. I wasn't a light weight but it took more for him to get drunk than me. Luckily he only had a small size bottle of whiskey. Scrunching my nose up, I swallowed hard then handed back the booze. My eyes didn't leave the ground below us. Jason took the bottle back and drank some of it himself. We watched the streets for a bit longer and waited for the sun to come up. Just as we were about to leave Jason had put his arm out to stop me. "What?" Tilting my head, I looked up at Jason.

"Do you hear that?" His eyes narrowed as he was staring off at an old building.

"Hear what?" Looking over in his direction, I questioned him. He seemed keen on what he was hearing but I figured he was just losing his mind. Following the sound, Jason kept assuring me on what he hears. "How do you not hear that? He asked as he looked over his shoulder at me. 

"Hear what?" I asked again."Are the voices back, Jay?" I teased which made Jason make a fake snorting sound. "I hear laughing." Jason finally answered. Furrowing my eyebrows together, I thought about his trauma or the possibility of Joker being inside his mind. Jason kept calm as he was slowly going insane. I could see the look in his eyes as he was desperate for me to hearing the laughing too. Pulling my hand closer, he made me feel the back of his head. "What are you doing?"

"Is there anything there?" He looked at me worriedly while my fingers explored through his soft black locks. Shaking my head as I didn't feel anything, Jason let out a relieved sigh. "Not so fast boy blunders." A voice laughed from behind us. Green shapes were all I could make out as a thick rush of pain shot through my head. I was knocked out cold as Jason was yelling my name. It all blurred together, the laughing, his voice and images of my past. I'm sure I could of pieced it all together but something in my head soothed me into letting go of my mind. 

The air felt paper thin around me, all the while it was like breathing after a cold. Painful scars from bad nights seemed to disappear and bruised knuckles felt more like someone was holding my hand gently, lovingly. It all felt an over done movie but it felt real. Bruce would of talked me out of this too good feeling. This was like a drug and I didn't want to come down all because of what I was hearing. It was Jason. He was humming in the background, calming my nerves as I could hear him lighting his cigarette. My eyes opened slowly to see him in bed next to me. "Good morning sunshine." His bright smile made my heart ache as I had never seen something other than a cocky grin from him. "What's wrong? You act like you've seen a ghost." Jason laughed softly before putting the cigarette back in the box before he could light it. His fingers then pushed my hair back from my face, causing me to blush deeply.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" A voice mumbled, a sad tone in their voice. "Will he remember what happened?" Furrowing my eyebrows together, I tried to listen to the conversation I was hearing. "Dickie? What's wrong?" Jason asked again. Shifting to look at him, he slowly disappeared like cigarette smoke. "I think he's waking up." The voice said again, sounding much like Barbara. Her hand was holding mine, slowly rubbing her thumb over my knuckles. I frowned softly but quickly felt the pain in my head out weigh my disappointed heart. "W-what?" Stuttering as I opened my eyes, I tried to remember what had happened. "Where's Jay?" I asked as I realized I was in a hospital bed. "He's alright, Dick. Do you know where you are?" Barbara looked at me as I nodded. Babs and the doctor had talked to me for a little bit, I tried to listen at first but I had wanted more of my day dream. They refused to tell me where Jason was or what had happened to him. I only wish he had the dream I did. 

\-- 

Jason's POV

I had watched Riddler's cane hit the back of Dick's head while I was busy slamming my fist into another man's skull. Dick had convinced me to leave my guns behind and I had started to regret listening to him now. Scrunching up my nose and coiling my fists, I was a moment from attacking Riddler at all costs but just like Dick, I was struck too. Blinking was all I could do as I watched Barbara scare off Riddler. I felt outraged while my head felt much like the guy's skull I was punching. She must of brought us to the hospital but when I finally saw that Dick was safe, I stopped fighting to stay awake. 

"Coma- A period of prolonged unconsciousness due to illness or injury." Bruce's words circled in my head. He home schooled me over the winter when I was Robin after I suffered a bad leg injury. There wasn't much else to do and Bruce made learning fun. "Have you ever been in coma?" I remember asking as a kid but now it was as if I was reliving it. "I did but thanks to Alfred I was better in no time." Bruce seemed much more happy before my death. I struggled not to let Dick blame himself for my death all while wanting Bruce to suffer but lately I don't know what I want. "Jason don't you think it's time to get some fresh air? Birds like to fly. Not hang from the ceiling." A much younger Dick teased as he gestured me to come outside with him. Closing my book, I hopped upstairs, making sure not to put pressure on my foot. His hair was longer and he was taller than me then. I stared at him for a bit as he kicked around a soccer ball. Bouncing from his feet to his hands then kicking the ball out of the air, Dick had kicked he ball into the goal. I wondered if he had missed his days in the circus. Maybe if I wake up from this I'll have to take him back someday. I was aware I was dreaming or perhaps I was drugged but I knew I wasn't in control of anything. Nothing scared me more than the dreams I might have. My time in the Lazarus pit made me see things that I didn't want to. It was a short time but demons attack quick. 

From time to time I could sense the world around me but I couldn't stop my dreams. "Bruce let him join me please. I can teach him more than you. I have more time on my hands now." Dick pleaded, his blue and gold suit clung to his body as I watched from the shadows. Dick had finished high school and I wasn't too far behind but Dick felt he could teach me more acrobatics skills. I felt like a child watching their parents from behind a wall as they fought over me. "I think I can make my own choices." I watched my teenage self speak bitterly before coming out from his hiding spot. It was nice to know Dick had better hopes for and wanted me to be better. Bruce had always made us question if his judgement was the only judgement. I remember siding with Bruce then because he made me think that Grayson made poor choices. Regretting that now maybe I would of lived if he took me under his wing. 

For what felt like hours, I watched memories play in my head like movies. After awhile I started to fuck around with my thoughts to avoid sappy stupid thoughts that would made me soften up on Bruce. I turned small fights into sassy dramas, almost like flipping the channel from the news to the Kardashians. Every once in a while I could hear Dick calling for me but I didn't think much of it until I started to miss him. All I wanted was to hold him close and kiss him again but I couldn't. I just wanted these nightmares to end.


	8. Chapter Eight

Jason's POV

The nightmares we're getting worse, especially on one particular night. All I could hear was rain. Tiny pitter patters of droplets hitting the window near where I was. I figured I was still in the hospital and was safe but this dream made even a padded room seem like murder house. 

The mansion was quiet, more than usual. Bruce was out on patrol and Barbara was out with her boyfriend. Dick had said something about Alfred taking him out somewhere. The silence seemed to echo down the long halls creating insanity all in it's own.  
I wasn't quite sure what to do as I wondered around the old place I called a home at one point. I didn't want to be here, it was torture all on it's own. I couldn't remember why I was here. "Oh, good. The bruises healed up nicely." The laugh of my nightmares cooed beside me. Joker walked out of the shadows as I clenched my fist. His lips curled into a wicked smile as I reached down for my pistol but couldn't find it.

"How are you doing old man?" Smirking, I watched him snarl at my nickname. "Oh. I know I know, Dickie has more manners than me don't remind me." I laughed which seemed to upset Joker. Suddenly his expression turned more excited than usual. "Seems awful quiet here." Moving around me, Joker had looked me up and down. "That pit must of healed you well." A seemingly interested tone to his voice, Joker began to change the conversation. "Maybe I should take a dip sometime? Bullet holes don't heal like they use to." I nodded in agreement as I had a few bullet wounds myself that healed up nicely thanks to the pit. "Well, Kiddo. As much as I'd love to talk I've got a dinner party to attend. Your old man and brothers are there too. You should come back." Chuckling, Joker handed me a red invitation. Within seconds the clown was gone and I peeled open the envelope. "With makeup women make their faces but at this tea party it's a bring your own face haha! -Love your old Joker." The note read as I furrowed my eyebrows together before rushing to the batcave. Running to my suit, I had quickly changed into it.

Quick beeping sounds was ringing in my ears. Everything around me went black and the dream I knew I was in was fading around me. "Jay please wake up." A familiar voice whispered through sobs. There was other people in the room but their words were muffled. Like getting hit by lightening, my body jolted awake as energy surged through it. I breathed heavily as I looked around frantically. I realized I was in the hospital and safe from my nightmares. "What happened?" I asked as Dick gently pushed me back down on the bed. Tears filled his eyes as he looked a bit different now. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and his face was pale. Dick looked at the doctors that had saved my life. Leslie Tompkins was the first to speak. "Mr.Todd you you've been in coma for 6 months." In disbelief I began to laugh but no one else was. Looking over at Dick, he had a few new tears rolling down his cheeks. I couldn't believe what I had heard and shook my head quickly. "What have I missed?" Dick had moved closer to me as I started rambling questions and the doctors had left to let him explain everything. 

"Jason, today is July 4th." He spoke softly as he grabbed my hand. Rubbing his thumb against my knuckles to calm me, he gave me time to think. It only felt like I was out for a day or two, not six months. "Where have you been?" I asked, looking up at him before he shook his head. "Here with you, on patrol or in the batcave trying to find Riddler." He looked away with a strong sense of anger in his voice. "Joker took you away from me once, I won't let Riddler take you away again." Dick explained, causing me to realize how much he cared about me. It almost made me cry. Sitting up slowly, I leaned in close to Dick then kissed him slowly. Feeling him smile against my lips made all the difference. I didn't care what Riddler did or getting revenge because now I know someone else wanted me. Bruce not getting Joker made me feel like he never wanted me. Dick isn't Bruce. He's an angel. 

"A change in weather." I chuckled softly as I pulled away slowly. "What?" Dick furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Shaking my head, I laughed a bit. "Uh, don't worry about it." A weird look and a soft nod, Dick had got up then brushed my hair out of my face. "I'm glad you're okay." He smiled down at me. "Me too."

\--

Every night after I had awaken the nightmares didn't end. Peice by peice each part of the dream played on. The first night I had followed Joker to the so called dinner party. The next night, I found the entrance to a old abandoned carnival. After that, I was seated at the end of the table about to be greeted by a mysterious man. It wasn't until the fourth night that I had thought about telling Grayson. 

Walking towards me was a tall dark figure. Bandages covered his face, dark suit covering his body and some money in his hand. When he started screaming in pain, I had nearly jumped out of my skin. Quickly I realized it was Bruce and I frantically got up. "What happened!?" I asked but he kept screaming. He grabbed my shoulders, my eyes widened then I saw two other guys coming up behind him. "Help!" I yelled to the others to help me but they didn't look at me. It was Tim and Alfred. They looked just like Bruce with their faces covered in bandages. Kicking my feet, I squrimed out of Bruce's grip. I started to run towards the door before bumping into someone. I looked up and saw Dick's dark hair. Sighing in relief, I was glad to see Grayson. "Dickie we need to get out of here." A muffled hum had left his throat. Looking up at him I saw his face wrapped as well. Stumbling backwards and trying to twist away from Dick, I panicked. "What's wrong, Jay?" Joker asked as he laughed. "Don't like how our guests look? Hm. Me too. Maybe I should of thrown a masquerade ball instead." He broke out laughing. 

I woke up sweating and screaming which woke Dick up as well. Flicking on his lamp so he could see, Dick yawned then looked over at me. I threw a punch at him in fear but he quickly grabbed my hand before I hit him. "What's wrong?" He asked sternly. Looking over his face I could see that everything was okay and calmed down quickly. "Another bad dream." I mumbled which made Dick look at me weird. "You've been having a lot of those lately." Releasing my hand before turning the light back off, Dick had mumbled. "Do you think something is wrong with me?" I asked. "Well... Tell me what these dreams are about then I'll answer that."

"It's not that important, Dick." My eyes shifted to the floor as he placed his hand on mine. Relaxing my shoulders I gave in. "Yes they are, Jason." He was right. Nothing gets better until you talk about it. Dick was changing me and I didn't know how to feel about it. Apart of me has thought about leaving again. I didn't want to be tamed and open up about everything. Maybe one day but for now I want my name focus to be on kicking ass not him. Loving Dick was easy, he could have anyone but all he wanted was me. Loving him was like breathing. Sometimes it got hard to when you were hurt or overly excited but usually it was too easy. The rush was starting to die off and feel normal now. I was getting too comfortable and letting people in wasn't my thing. "It's just about Joker kidnapping me again." I mumbled before laying back down. I couldn't look at Dick. Knowing he cared about me and wanted to help me made me upset. I liked it all too much and I wanted him to be more like me. Not the other way around. When he got into killing before the incident I was more than excited to take him under my wing but he hasn't spoken of death since I woke up. He was different now. Like he was hiding something from but played it off as he was worried about me. I learned he was in coma too but it wasn't for long. It was more like he was passed out for an extended time. "You're safe here with me, Jay. I promise." He smiled and I felt sick to my stomach.


End file.
